we have a visitor

“it hurts like hell when you know you need to let go, but you can’t because you’re still waiting for the impossible to happen.”

i don’t know if it was impossible.

but it happened.

again.

 

this situation creates a black hole of emotion where there are too many possibilities to feel.

do i want to?

do i just choose one?

 

i am scrambled. rattled. dumbfounded.

my mind is sending a dictionary –

in its entirety –

throughout my veins and my heart is saying,

“solve the puzzle.”

 

you cannot keep leaving and coming back.

these are two opposites that i know do not attract.

i know this because i am familiar with your endeavors.

maybe i have grown to recognize them when they come about.

 

but the walls of this heart cannot bear the deconstruction any more.

the passageways of these lungs cannot constrict any more.

the flow of this blood cannot pace itself any more.

 

this body is far too weak to carry the struggles of us any more.

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